Tuesday, April 1, 2008

How to Telecommute to Hawaii from Oregon

My days juxtapose two very polar opposite jobs. A Network Administrator/Network Engineer is job #1. Job #2 is ranch hand. These are the exceedingly well detailed methods in which I, dear reader, perform these duties to the best of my abilities. So well in fact, that there is a statue erected in my honor in midland upper northwest downtown Waikiki. The statue is located at the corner of 149th NW Nordernsternenerden and 54th Kalakaua. If you cannot immediately see the statue, please hold your breath and stare directly into the midday sun for 68 seconds. You'll see it. Promise.

Here are the excruciatingly well detailed steps to telecommuting and horse farm success:

1) Turn on laptop and guzzle large amounts of coffee.
2) Refill coffee cup.
3) Gaze deeply into vast LCD wasteland of laptop screen. Blink. Hope for divine inspiration.
4) Log in to remote downtown Honolulu office via VPN, SSH tunnel or a combination of both.
5) Refill coffee cup.
6) ... ?
7) Type furiously. Spring into action over the internet. Save lives, make flowers bloom.
8) Pick up many many pounds of horse poop and place into wheelbarrow. Empty. Repeat.
9) Fight vicious territorial war against renegade underground mole army. Have daily briefings with front line General, Barn Kitty of Doom.
10) Profit!

Easy ? It is. I'm available for hire you know, serious.


*job #3 is house husband and housekeeping. surprised?

No comments: